The old editor has his marching orders .Local , get local . He thinks to himself , geez , what do you think we have been doing all this time .
Left , right , left ,right ,
“ I don't know , but I've been told ,
get that news out before its' cold .
Your Left ... Your left ,left ,right ,left.
The digital online facilitator #3c has the ball, but really wants to be Digital Online Assignment Facilitator #1 .
#3c does a little online research and finds the term “hyper local”, and runs to daylight with an outside the box idea.No.3c then sends the intern down to the local city run kiddie pool to GD&L (get down & local) .The intern , one of 9 interns running the entire news operation heads off . Looking all professional and turned out for success, #9 looks at the pool full of kids and begins to think ... ah, weather story.
The next day readers loved it , actually they go Gaga! Gaga!. They actually had exclamation marks .
The old editor just hangs his head . #3c says to intern #9 , get back out there , “dig a little deeper” . #9 gets into beach wear and heads out for a story and a tan.
Hum , ahh , Fashion story .The latest in kids swim suits , everything from one piece , two piece , t-shirt plus, to that classic itsy – bitsy polka dot . All the readers will have that song in their heads while reading , wow , multi media of the mind. Video ,yes!
The next day , even more reaction , the love was just pouring in .
Crap , says the old editor , is this real ?, how could I have been that wrong for so many decades ?
#3c says to #9 get back out there , this is going to be a new beat . Eyes are on us , thousands of eyes , divided by two . Dig deeper #9 . ( if we measured readership in digits , because after all we all have ten digits and it is a digital media and digits are used for typing , we could count readership as 5x's more than just eyes. Wfew! My head hurts from the math , but it sounds like a lot.
The days went by and a flurry of new and original stories came out everyday , sunscreen , pool toys & games , lunches , hydration , footwear ,the latest sunglasses and more UV protection from lotions to clothing . Kids , kids, kids diets ,cute kids .
Circulation stable , but the digits and eyes and the comments are a gold mine ( virtual gold not real money ) .
The old editor has just about enough , he jumps into the play with ,a dig deeper of his own , “the water” , what about the water ?
#3c sulks ,this old guy is going to blow it . # 9 says , water ? What about the water? Sponsorship from pool companies were lining up to create an entire full page dedicated to the new beat. (ten grand a pop)
The next day , the story is about the water , great pure , cold water going into a freshly bleached pool , drained every night and clean and pure , refilled everyday . The readers went wild , the love , they just love those stories , it just couldn't get any better .
The old editor just want to shot himself in the foot . #3c is thinking about buying a big pool with the raise , promotion and staff discount through the ad department. Almost free and is getting applications for an automatic , slam dunk , NNA and all digital online prizes too.
Intern #9 dreams of a staff job , maybe some groceries and next months bus pass . The old editor is thinking about his pension .
The competing tab's last remaining local reporter is getting hosed everyday and is ordered by HQ in the East to get a matcher story . The creepy looking guy with the video camera multi media show , and trench coat hanging around a city kids pool just about got him locked up.His press card may get the charges reduced. Not really , other media are susepected using online pseudonyms , plotting revenge .Using the anonymity of the internet they send an absolutely wicked thought to the comment section of the competing newspaper latest pool story by #9.The comment section often attracts the class clown mentality ( not unlike myself) ,not the usual Editorial Page thinkers .
Hey #9 , how much pee-pee , do you think is in the pool at any given time . #9 decides to dig deeper , and sneaks a special chemical into the water that detects , pee-pee.
Digital Online Facilitator #3c , arranges for a satellite to stay in geocentric orbit to watch the city pool at great expense to the newspaper .After careful analysis by experts , the photos begin to show little purple flares all over the pool's surface . #9 says , geez that is a lot of pee-pee , #3c puts a stop payment on the pool that was ordered , the old news editor is rubbing his hands , now we are in business .
The next day headlines scream ,Big Wee Wee in the Pool . ( still can't say pee-pee or urine in a family newspaper )
It hits the fan with a big splash . Day after day more stories ,videos , experts , graphics , purple haze from ten miles high. ( great wars have always been preceded by satelite photos) It was discovered the lifeguard couldn't swim , even though the pool only had 6 inches of water . The happy comments turn snide , rude and many were just blocked . Parents stopped bringing their kids . The national media has arrived .Doors were knocked , people pestered , online polls , streeters and even a petition .(who writes ?)
The mayor weighs in , even drinking water from the pool to prove it is safe. Too bad there is no dye cast from poo-poo.
Chemists , biologists , water quality experts , tree huggers ,pool huggers , the premier gets a toe wet in the quagmire. Parliament is recalled . An inquiry is called , the pool is closed , and jack hammered to oblivion. Bloggers mourn . Flowers , cards and condolences are left at the pool site as well as a candle light vigil. Tears and rage as groups began to square off at the scene , then gun shots and sirens.
The next year paper gets an NNA , the #3c gets the coveted Online ,PULL-it-sir , lawyers get rich , governments fall . On the anniversary the neighbourhood kids stand around the jagged space where their pool once sat. Journalism has been served . Build'em up , Knock'em down . Left , right , your left , your left , left ,right, left .
The new numbers are out , if anyone thinks this is funny , you couldn't be more wrong . Time to get real. This is our life .
No photographers were harmed ,all my editors have quit or gone insane , so my spelling and grammar , are, what they are. One and a half hours later , the TV drama dream sequence ends , everyone go back to what they were doing , keep doing exactly what you were doing . Scary music is heard in the background .kg
Topic: Still Crazy and Loco / Local (Read 1502 times)