• You board a chartered ship to photograph some folks. After finishing an hour later, you go back up to the deck to notice that the boat has left the dock and there's no way it's going to turn around to drop you off. The nice boat people arrange to have some guy in an inflatable thing come get you.
Once the inflatable thing is alongside, the ship's crew throw a rope ladder over the edge for you to climb down the 20 feet, while your camera gear, dangling from your neck, constantly bashes against the side of the rocking boat.
Aboard the inflatable, you use one arm to keep your gear semi-dry under your jacket and the other arm to hang on for dear life. Back to land and in wet clothes, you walk three blocks to your car.
At the office, with your shoes making squishy sounds and puddles trailing from your pants, the photo editor just says, "You're late."
• You've been spit at, tear-gassed and pepper-sprayed, and it's not even lunch yet.
• You get sent to photograph a 100-year old's birthday party at 1:00 pm, but get there about 15 minutes late. You see a fire truck and ambulance parked in front. After knocking, the person opening the door says, "Oh, she just died a few minutes ago."
• At a funeral, (not related to the above), the family invites you into the viewing and asks if you would do a family picture for them. The family poses around the open casket and then props the body up higher to make for a nicer photo.
• While waiting to photograph Miss April, she hands you a bottle of lotion and asks you to rub some on her to give her skin a nice shine. Apparently, she just did her nails. Her PR person is busy on the phone. You ask, "Where?" and she replies "All over. I'm not shy."
• You have pictures of yourself holding the Grey Cup, the Stanley Cup, a Juno, a Gemini, ...
• Ozzie Osbourne has thrown a bucket of water at you.