How humbling is it to know that the minimum wage clerk who stocks the grocery store's condiment aisle is more essential to society than you?
Here in Toronto we're now at Level 3! Level 3!
I don't know what that means or if the levels should go up or down. But Level 3! City politicians are now in the Emergency Operations Centre! Not sure where that is but I doubt they reopened the city's
secret nuclear bunker north of Toronto.
Ontario and Quebec will officially shut down tomorrow. Feel free to hoard and panic at will. My basement bunker will finally pay off and I now get to enjoy my 10-year stockpile of canned beans.
If I were in charge, and I don't know why I'm not, I would:
• waive all residential electricity and water bills for at least six months.
• have banks waive all interest charges on personal loans, personal lines of credit and personal credit cards at least until the end of the year.
• guarantee a minimum income based on people's most recent income tax return:
- those with a net income of under $35,000 get $2,000 per month tax-free
- those with a net income of $35,000 to $70,000 get $1,000 per month tax-free
- those with a net income over $70,000 get thoughts and prayers. Tax-free of course.
• double all federal and provincial tax credits that are paid out in cash.
• make airlines, hotels, etc. give 100% cash refunds for cancellations. No vouchers, no future credit, just 100% cash.
Current government plans to offer emergency income do not include freelancers. So far these plans cover only people who are currently on some sort of government assistance or who are laid-off employees.
With a few more careless people, Canada might crack the top 15 countries. I think only the top eight countries make the playoffs?
This site has some colourful COVID-19 information. It's got maps, charts, and two types of graphs, all in easy to view colours and nice fonts. It's much better than what our government is doing. In dark times like this, one might think our government would invest more money in web design.
If you keep refreshing that page of info, you can watch the numbers go up! This is one of the few sources of info that tracks people who have recovered.
One hundred years ago, 20th-century Millennials were summoned by history. With their blood, sweat and tears, they answered the call and shaped our world for the better.
Today, once again, destiny is calling and 21st-century Millennials are responding. With their iPhones, 5G broadband and 17 Twitter followers, they will answer the call right after they finish posting to Instagram and will shape our world.
With apologies to
Mary Schmich:
Ladies and gentlemen in the battle against COVID-19:
Wash your hands.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future,
hand washing would be it.
The long term benefits of hand washing have been proved by scientists,
whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the health and immunity of your youth. Oh never mind.
You will not understand the health and immunity of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you
and how healthy you really were.
But you are not as immune as you imagine.
Don’t panic about the virus.
Or panic but know that panicking is as effective
as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind,
like being laid off due to a pandemic at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that helps you.
Wash your hands.
Don’t stand too close to other people.
Don’t put up with people who stand close to you.
Wash your hands.
Don’t waste your time hoarding toilet paper.
Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind.
The race is long and, in the end, there's plenty of toilet paper.
Remember to always cough into your sleeve and never touch your face.
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep a list of take-out restaurants. Throw away your travel brochures.
Wash your hands.
Don’t feel too guilty if you spend your entire isolation watching Netflix.
But the most interesting people I know don't spend all their time online.
Some of the smartest people in the world spend their time reading books.
Get plenty of hand sanitizer.
Be kind to your hands, wash them often.
Maybe you'll find toilet paper, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll find hand sanitizer, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll get face masks
Maybe you'll just give up and hide at home.
Whatever you do, don’t worry too much, or panic either.
Your future is half chance, so is everybody else’s.
Enjoy your Chlorox Disinfecting Wipes.
Use them every place you can.
Don’t be stingy with them and don't flush them down the toilet.
They're the most effective disinfectant you’ll ever own.
Clean, even if you have nothing more than just a bachelor apartment.
Read the news but not on social media.
Do not watch 24-hours news, it will only cause you more panic.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll have extra toilet paper.
Be nice to your siblings. They are your best source for borrowing money
and the only people you can trust to self-isolate with.
Understand that friends should not come but go,
except for immediate family, stay away from everyone.
Work hard to increase the gaps between you and everyone else,
because the older you get, the more susceptible you are to illness unlike when you were young
Stay away from Toronto because of the city shutdown.
Stay away from Vancouver because you might get infected.
Don't travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths:
People will hoard, there will be long lines in stores,
you too will start to worry
and when you do, you’ll wish that if people were smart
they wouldn't hoard toilet paper, they wouldn't panic and you could get on with your life.
Get on with your life
Don’t expect anyone else to look out for you.
Maybe you have a stash of toilet paper.
Maybe you have lots of hand sanitizer.
But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t worry too much about face masks.
By the time a store has them, the pandemic will be over.
Be careful which news outlets you listen to,
but be patient with those who are knowledgeable.
News is a form of education.
Dispensing it is a way of separating fact from rumour,
putting it in perspective and presenting it in a calm fashion.
But trust me on the hand washing.
Edit: It's times like this that I wish I has taken typing in high school. Yes, when I was your age, there was actually a high school class that just taught typing.