NPAC Forums
NPAC Forum => General Discussion => Topic started by: Warren Toda on May 28, 2009, 04:33 PM
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Your photography career isn't complete until you have photographed:
• lasers (or sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' heads)
• fireworks (big ones, and not your next-door neighbour's Canada Day blast)
• underwater
• surgery
• an autopsy (hopefully not related to the previous surgery)
• while hanging out the side of a helicopter (probably with a safety harness)
• from a window washer's platform many stories up
• from an ultralight or paraglider
• a Mr and Mrs Nude Canada (or whatever title) pageant
• a birth (ideally human, or thereabouts)
• from a steel beam a few hundred feet high in a building construction site.
• in a mine, a few thousand feet down
Have I left anything out?
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well, surgery and birth can be one...if it is a C-section, right?
what about taking macro shots of tiny insects or bacteria?
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How about....
You spent the entire day outside (in sub-zero temperatures of course) staking out some politician/criminal (or combination sometimes) only to find out that they eluded you and everyone else by taking some sneaky way out. The only thing you got that day was a cold!
.
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Someone giving you the finger - maybe on the perp walk Phill mentioned.
A squirrel water-skiing.
Live ammunition being fired, in anger.
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.... you've watched a brain pulsate during surgery. Very cool. One of those made-for-video moments.
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you get grief about your cool fishing vest
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your editors order you to sneak into a hospital to get photos without permission.....
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A squirrel water-skiing.
;D
1. Your photo on the front page of a major daily with someone else's credit.
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You've been through at least three major technological changes.
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you get an assignment to shoot a portrait of someone just diagnosed with an infectious airborne disease...
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A cop drags you by the neck.
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You throw your shoes at a world leader.
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You pull 9Gs in a F-16.
You have your camera bag urinated on by a hugh Rottweiler.
You are pepper sprayed.
You are medicated for smoke inhalation.
you ..... next up ::)
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David, check your pulse to see if you're actually still alive!!!
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you've photographed a 14 year old in a mermaid suit.
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You arrive at the scene of a standoff a half hour after the cops used tear gas, which still irritates the hell out of your contact lenses and you shoot the cops standing around as your eyes water like Niagara Falls.
You brace yourself against a cliffside on the Lake Superior shore in a September gale while hoping to get the waves crashing just right before you get really soaked.
And an all time favourite.....you spend all day working on a shoot, get back to the office (in the days before cell phones and Twitter text alerts ) and find out that something happened somewhere else and now there's no room for your shot. Or closely related, because of the event the only pix they want is a small version of your worst shot on the bottom of the page (in newspapers) or smallest thumbnail pix size (on the web)
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You have your camera bag urinated on by a hugh Rottweiler.
After your subject confirms that you're shooting just a head-and-shoulders portrait of him, while the two of you are standing next to a four-lane city street, he unzips his pants and starts urinating while still posing for pictures. At this point, you decide to back up and shoot with a longer lens, just to keep your shoes dry.
• Getting up off the grass after a great low-angle photo, you notice a horrible smell and realize that you've just been lying in a pile of dog sh!t for the past 15 minutes.
• During the coldest and worst blizzard of the century, when snowplows refuse to venture out and police warn everyone to stay indoors, you get sent out to drive around and shoot a few features.
• You're first on the scene of a bank robbery, and because you bear a similar description to the suspect, the arriving police assume the worst and draw their guns on you.
• The CEO of Goodyear asks if you want to go for a quick flight on his Lear jet.
• After a presser for Rolls Royce, the PR person asks which car you'd like to take for a spin.
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You travel all the way to a remote Labrador community only to have your borrowed Ski-Doo stolen and wrecked. Not mentioning any names but Fred Lum could probably tell a good version of this one. :)
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- you realized shooting with 2.5 fps on film is no longer the trend,
- your bathroom starts to look like dark room and your living room a studio,
- saving the last three frames is so very important if you happen to only have a 12 roll
- listening on a scanner, you arrived earlier than the cops on the scene
- driving and breaking the road speed limit
- you have a spot of thick skin on you shoulders for carrying too much gear and heavy lenses
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You've been hit by a puck, stick, baseball, football....while covering a game.
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You've shot a Sunshine girl....
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Threatened by the corrupt local police captain in a foreign country to get out of town, or else.
Fingers gotten so cold you can't feel them and the only way you know you're still releasing the shutter is by the sound of the mirror actuation.
A gash on the knee and a sprained ankle is all you really have after chasing a photo that didn't turn out to be worth it.
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You are assigned to take a picture of a guest speaker at the YMCA. When you get there you find the topic is men beating their wives. In a room with thirty women and you are the only male.
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Caught in a crossfire, you try and dig a foxhole with a lens hood
A prospective Sunshine Girl asks you if there's any way you can guarantee her timely appearance in the newspaper whilst [apparently] looking for parking meter change in YOUR jeans pocket
You are shooting a serious crash when the husband of the victim you are photographing decides to take you on a guided tour of the neighbourhood by your camera strap, which somewhat unfortunately, is around your neck
You are sent to photograph David Bowie and Peter Frampton at Pearson. You discover both are under the influence and you and your wallet are invited to their hotel bar for an extensive session
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You go in for the closeup of moving ice jams during spring break-up and pull your eye away from the viewfinder only to find you've been surrounded by water on all sides...
(anyone? no, just me?)
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- listening on a scanner, you arrived earlier than the cops on the scene
Happens all the time here... :D Being 10 minutes from anywhere else helps, though.
Having some politician making a speech mention you as the butt of a joke to make him look better, and point you out to the crowd.
Having someone on the street ask you which TV station you work for.
Having someone look at your 300 2.8 and ask how far you can see with that thing.
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Having someone look at your 300 2.8 and ask how far you can see with that thing.
Or when you shoot a hockey game with your 300 and a spectator stops to tell you that you probably only see the eyes of the goaltender with that kind lense! Only answer I got to that is...do you really see a lot of eyes pics in the papers?
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Having Gene Simmons of Kiss point to you at an interview and refer to you as a possible drug addict "for all I know this photographer is a drug addict." and the quote makes it into the story printed in the paper the next day.
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Every single game of hockey Darryl Dyck has ever shot includes filing at least
one frame to CP of a tight shot of the goalies head with the eyes on the puck near his mask
--- sorry DD just couldn't resist that one ;D
I love Ray's post about the YWCA -- have been in that position a few times myself .....
Being asked by passing motorist and pedestrians on what's going on at a scene and stealing a
line from the movie The Paper by answering "You'll have to read about it tomorrow's paper"
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geez thanks andrew, I'd buried that deep in my memory until your post ;) but yeah, pulling plugs is a good thing...not that I speak from experience of course.
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You've shared an herbal jazz cigarette with Teenage Head.
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While covering the former president of the United States at a private dinner, the media-flack ( who HAS TO have their picture taken with him ), instructs you after they give you their point and shoot camera to grab a shot – that's it the big black button top of the camera that makes it "click".
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Threatened by the corrupt local police captain in a foreign country to get out of town, or else.
Foreign country? How about here in Canada, when an RCMP officer threatens you and your loved ones livelihood if one were to think about publishing an image of him smoking a cigar while attempting to bash down a barricaded door with a cinder block at a news scene. The door did not give way to Mr. Clint Eastwood...
cheers-
/daniel
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Not until you forget to do up a zipper on your backpack and a lens falls out onto the sidewalk below during a rash of obscenities including 'scum of the earth' for taking photos at a funeral.
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You have so many empty films cans in your trunk that the car would float should you drive it into the lake.
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Back in the film days, after shooting a roll of film you toss it in your camera bag, then when developing it you develop a fresh new roll instead of the one you shot on.
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...you've worked your as* off as freelancer...landed a staff job...got laid off...& working your as* off as freelancer again.
...you know from memory the police channels on your scanner.
...shot 15,000 or more digital images in a span of only one day!
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...stood on the stage with U2 in front of 65,000 people at the start of a show.
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…shot a picture of Dog the Bounty Hunter without his sunglasses and have him suddenly stop his interview to "inform" you that he's "going to have to approve those photos before you leave" because you should tell him when you're about to shoot so he can maintain his sunglasses image.
…a Red Bull X-Fighters PR flack tells you tomorrow's photo op is at 3 p.m. and when you confirm the time, she says, "No, at 3 p.m."
…have the father of a teen who died of natural causes (unbeknownst to the photog) almost run you down on a sidewalk with his massive black SUV before getting out and having his five family members surround you and scream at you.
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Until you sit at Israel Immigration at King Husein bridge for hours while the 20 year old Military girls giggle at you and smile instead of letting you through to the West Bank.
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to nearly catch on fire ..... from flames shooting out from the stage floor at a metalica concert while shooting the lead singer with a wide angel lens .
??? :-\ ;) :D ;D
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Shooting at 40-below (during film the days and metal bodies) without the rubber moulding on the eyepiece and forgetting about that fact, while the condensation from your breath freezes it to your skin.
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(http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/images/200712/20071224ho_christmasstory_500.jpg)
:D
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Yep, that pretty well sums it up. ;D
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Until you fixed a roll of film before developing it.
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.... you show up at a failing General Motors plant during a shift change to shoot laid-off workers. You're driving a Honda.
.... you shoot a roll of film for your very first professional assignment, only to find that's in fact NOT the very first time you've shot that roll.
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Until you fixed a roll of film before developing it.
Why, what was wrong with it? ;D
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Yeah Mike, I'm sure there are a good number of digital photographers who have no idea what I mean.
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Or you shoot a roll and you thought it had caught the pick up. But in fact it never left the cassette.... x36 :)
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while we are on a nostalgic return to films days ----
Turn the lights ON in the processing room and lift the lid of the Wing-Linch to find your
7 rolls of Fuji 800 are still in the developer ...... :'(
Got your hair tangled in your rewind knob while listing for the film to rewind and stopping the motor of a Nikon F3 or Canon F1n before the leader got sucked into the cannister. :-\
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while we are on a nostalgic return to films days ----
Got your hair tangled in your rewind knob while listing for the film to rewind and stopping the motor of a Nikon F3 or Canon F1n before the leader got sucked into the cannister. :-\
Ha Ahhh David, That is why I have a shaved head... Yet also makes me question if that is why there are so many balding photogs...
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You race to a spot news assignment but leave your cameras at the office.
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You race to a spot news assignment but leave your cameras at the office.
...or your memory card! (always carry a spare in your car)
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while we are on a nostalgic return to films days ----
Turn the lights ON in the processing room and lift the lid of the Wing-Linch to find your
7 rolls of Fuji 800 are still in the developer ...... :'(
Got your hair tangled in your rewind knob while listing for the film to rewind and stopping the motor of a Nikon F3 or Canon F1n before the leader got sucked into the cannister. :-\
Turn off all the lights in darkroom, load your C-41 film .... only to find after dev/blix/etc.. a thin
green line running through your negs ...... and then notice a very tiny red light on the C-41 processor :o ....and then realise that you had shot a roll of B&W ....just because you had it ::)
:-X
jack
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Your editor sends you to shoot a pic of a raccoon with a jar of peanut butter stuck on it's head.
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Your editor sends you to shoot a pic of a raccoon with a jar of peanut butter stuck on it's head.
And they also send a reporter ... and it makes front page ... plus another inside page with quotes from the neighbours, local veterinarian, the humane society, fire department ....
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Your editor sends you to shoot a pic of a raccoon with a jar of peanut butter stuck on it's head.
...and good luck finding that Racoon! i dont think he will stick around now that he's got a jar full of peanut butter! :D
...then, it becomes urban legend...
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Your editor sends you to shoot a pic of a raccoon with a jar of peanut butter stuck on it's head.
Crunchy or Smooth. Whoa, deja vu.
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• You've told a grieving woman to run down the middle of the street wearing men's underwear… and then made her do it half a dozen times.
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• You board a chartered ship to photograph some folks. After finishing an hour later, you go back up to the deck to notice that the boat has left the dock and there's no way it's going to turn around to drop you off. The nice boat people arrange to have some guy in an inflatable thing come get you.
Once the inflatable thing is alongside, the ship's crew throw a rope ladder over the edge for you to climb down the 20 feet, while your camera gear, dangling from your neck, constantly bashes against the side of the rocking boat.
Aboard the inflatable, you use one arm to keep your gear semi-dry under your jacket and the other arm to hang on for dear life. Back to land and in wet clothes, you walk three blocks to your car.
At the office, with your shoes making squishy sounds and puddles trailing from your pants, the photo editor just says, "You're late."
• You've been spit at, tear-gassed and pepper-sprayed, and it's not even lunch yet.
• You get sent to photograph a 100-year old's birthday party at 1:00 pm, but get there about 15 minutes late. You see a fire truck and ambulance parked in front. After knocking, the person opening the door says, "Oh, she just died a few minutes ago."
• At a funeral, (not related to the above), the family invites you into the viewing and asks if you would do a family picture for them. The family poses around the open casket and then props the body up higher to make for a nicer photo.
• While waiting to photograph Miss April, she hands you a bottle of lotion and asks you to rub some on her to give her skin a nice shine. Apparently, she just did her nails. Her PR person is busy on the phone. You ask, "Where?" and she replies "All over. I'm not shy."
• You have pictures of yourself holding the Grey Cup, the Stanley Cup, a Juno, a Gemini, ...
• Ozzie Osbourne has thrown a bucket of water at you.
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It's not a career until you have photographed the Church of Satan then stayed the night in the basement room next to where they performed their ritual.
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"Pet of the Week."
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.... if get a unique photos that you really like .....
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v121/JSimpson/Photojournalism/AP-FireFighters_1-Feb19-09-IMGP3520.jpg)
and enter it into the Clips contest :D only
find out a while later that you sent the photo(s) too late :-[
::)
Jack
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You walk into someone's home and they have a picture of yours on the fridge!
You have filed with a satellite phone on a moving ship, it's amazing that my daughter was only born with two eyes!
You have almost been killed by debris from an erupting active volcano.
One day, a nice old lady who was the victim of a police raid invites you into her house to show the damage after her sons were arrested, the next day outside court the old lady is flipping you the bird, dropping f-bombs and flashing breasts at you after her son makes bail. (it was like spring break at the nursing home)
You shot only 144 frames per day on the road, otherwise you would have had to soup a second batch of film.
You have converted a bathroom in a stadium or theatre into a darkroom.
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You shot only 144 frames per day on the road, otherwise you would have had to soup a second batch of film.
Having room service send up an expensive bottle(s) of vodka or gin so that you could use the alcohol to shorten the drying time of your film before transmitting. Then, weeks later, having to explain the expense to the paper's accountant.
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Yup, that's the one that dings my bell!
Even thirty years later, it amazed me that people in Mississauga have my front page photo of the derailment and fire either on their wall or, as I have also seen it, laminated and used as a place mats on their kitchen tables. These fan-atices made sure they had several of the posters that had been inserted into the Toronto Sun a week after the fire and evacuation, for that purpose.
Now that's a career!
Bill Sandford
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Having room service send up an expensive bottle(s) of vodka or gin so that you could use the alcohol to shorten the drying time of your film before transmitting. Then, weeks later, having to explain the expense to the paper's accountant.
... drying your prints in a microwave ??? ..... although it did a few tries to get the correct
time :D
Jack
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You've been hit by a foul ball......again.
or bowled over at a football game
or hit by a stick or puck at a hockey game.
or all three!
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You've been hit by a foul ball......again.
or bowled over at a football game
or hit by a stick or puck at a hockey game.
or all three!
When I used to cover Junior B hockey games in small town West Quebec, I'd shoot from the Zamboni bay at centre ice where there's no glass. I used to get sticks, pucks and whole players coming over the boards at me... definitely made me learn to pay attention to the whole ice, not just where the puck was.
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You've been hit by a foul ball......again.
or bowled over at a football game
or hit by a stick or puck at a hockey game.
or all three!
Split seconds before...I ducked!
(http://lh3.ggpht.com/_F9VeNpNBwHg/SkzYGJcel8I/AAAAAAAAAPA/ZNE7Xu8lQgU/s576/15.jpg)
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;D Moe Doiron invites you to a "clandestine meeting at a local Irish pub". Mmmm, Irish beer....
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Since we're on a kick of the olden days of film here are few more
1...Use a Bic lighter to dry your film cause yur portable darkroom hair dryer blew out in a run- down African hotel...
2...Use a vivitar flash as a source of light cause your portable enlarger just blew a bulb late at night in small town hotel....and the nearest open 7-Eleven is across an ocean.
3...Load four rolls of film on reels and put into a small tank with developer in the front seat of a car as your colleague speeds through Toronto streets to the office so you can get the film into the fixer in time......there was no room in front for the fixer...
4...Scare the crap out of a rookie when you lift their film out of the developer in daylight...cause they don't know you got about 2 seconds in light before film fogs...as long as fixer is fresh and strong. (Don't try this at home kids)
5...Develop a roll of film dropped by a stringer after an assignment and the first few frames show he and his wife, it was hoped, in very X-rated intimacy.....
6...Develop film in the small galley below deck of a 30 foot pleasure craft while navigating through 4 to 6 foot swells during Americas Cup racing...
and my favourite though not film related.....
being declared a "liberator" including hugs and kisses on both cheeks after entering a small city during the Romanian Revolution.....my colleague failed to photograph it....damn!!!
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• dropping a camera+lens into a lake and, while expecting it to somehow float, you're surprised at how fast it sinks into the darkness.
• being on the front steps of an elegant, vintage hotel (built in early 1920's) shooting a celebrity portrait in the evening, so that the hotel lights might sparkle in the background. With your strobes' power pack plugged into an old electrical outlet near the front steps, the very first shutter-press instantly blows all the power to the hotel entrance and driveway, the front lobby and the hotel's Christmas display. Angel of mercy (i.e. Vivitar 285) comes to your rescue.
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...carrying packs of cigarettes (but never learned to smoke) to penetrate the military blockade during the late Pres. Marcos era in the Philippines...
...while carrying packs of cigarettes, also learned to conceal and smuggled almost dozens of rolls of fresh films through the military blockade perimeter for news photographers embedded inside...
...been slapped in the face by a Manila policeman, when i was a teen because I wearing an opposition t-shirt...
...been hit by a water canon, twice...man it hurts...
...learned first hand why "Tear Gas" got its notorious name...
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You decided to scan the film wet to save time......
You never thought the guy with the 9mm jammed into your stomach would fire it (what a mess!)......
You have set your camera bag on fire when an extra battery shorts from touching a paper clip...
You know the noise that a 300 makes when it hits the ground....
You've become addicted to the smell of fixer.....
You have final figured out that after working all those nights you will never be about to develope a normal sleep pattern......
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You have shot Twiggy the Waterskiing Squirrel (http://www.thestar.com/news/2016/01/11/meet-twiggy-the-water-skiing-squirrel.html)
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Seeing camels having sex in the distance at the compound of Muammar Gaddafi in Tripoli, Libya.
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You've been bitten by police dogs on two continents, had a rubber bullet go past your face, and had to take cover from a sniper.